True Blood Finale: Wut

Season 6 of True Blood is over, and like most seasons, it leaves viewers asking, “Umm, wut?”
Here’s the recap and review of the finale to an overall weird season.

With Erik on a literal ball busting rampage through the testing facility and freeing the captive vampires, he gives an semi dramatic send off early into the episode. The vampires who were saved from the true death via sunlight are frolicking to Bill and Jessica’s for a fun in the sun type of day. Bill is moody and brooding like usual, this time cause he wants to “fix” things with Sookie. He could’ve gone with the naked spice girls and joined Lillith but opted to stay in Bon Temps. Because of reasons. On a brighter note, the vampires took full advantage of the sun by playing volly ball and dressing like they were in a Gap commercial.

After Terry’s funeral and small talk with Alcide, Sookie meets up with Warlow in fairyland. Where she states that she’d rather them get to know each other before, ya know, marriage/vampirism. Then, out of left field, Warlow gets all southern domestic violence on us. To a degree I tolerated the new character, but the whole choking and restraining parts seemed a little off character. Chill dude, this is Sookie, it literally takes her an episode to fall into devotional love with a character.

Jason being aware and not a fan of the whole plan, gathers the group (along with his new overly attached girlfriend) to Andy Bellefleurs house to ask Adilyn for some fairy telepathy assistance. Overly attached vampire girlfriend scares the literal day lights out of the two week old, and they are transported to the fairy land. Stuff gets shot at haphazardly, and Warlow escapes easily. Chasing and fighting ensues at the Stackhouse residence, but a surprise full nelson by Grandpa subdues Warlow, and he is appropriately staked by the Stackhouse siblings.

Making this the #234 person to die in that damn house. With Lillith’s progeny turned into soup, Bill is finally free from her, and everyone who drank his blood is back to being susceptible to the sun. Given it’s already night time, not a problem for the other vampires. Erik on the other hand, is buck naked sunbathing in the Swedish mountain side. That’s where he went in 12 hours, to an isolated mountain in Sweden.

Maybe HBO used the full frontal nudity to distract us from questions like, “Why sunbath on a lawn chair in the buff in the open? Why didn’t he bring an umbrella as a contingency plan? How the F*** did he get to Sweden in less than 12 hours?” Either way, he didn’t have his SPF on him at the time of Warlow’s death, meaning we aren’t sure if Eriks alive or not.

Skip forward 6 months, things are generally weird and calm like usual. This town clearly doesn’t hold grudges, maybe because they have short term memory, because nonsense happens in the town and no one brings it up ever again. I.E town orgy, witches, crack head were panthers, Sookie admitting she’s telepathic, Andy’s kids, etc. Alcide is Sookies new boy toy, because why not. Bill is on a book tour about his experiences with the vampire religion, and the main stream media is a little too underwhelmed about hearing of a vampire God, the fact he was one, and his murdering spree that no one mentions more than once. The American media is rather forgiving, supernatural creatures regardless. Sam is suddenly pro vampire everything, and attempts to set up a symbiotic relationship between humans and vampires. With the Hepatitis V going around, sick vampires are attacking anything insight. So humans with anti Hep V blood will have vampires feed off them, but will be protected as payment from infected vampires. Surprise, not too many people are thrilled about this prospect. Especially Andy when Jessica comes over to explain she’ll protect him and his family for free. She could’ve brought an ipod or something, that looks boring as Hell.

However, there is a large shindig at night for a type of meet and greet for humans and vampires. Tara’s mother pops up requesting for Tara to feed off her. Because that’s not creepy or mommy dearest like. Sookie and Alcide stop by the BBQ and send around their hellos while Jason’s OAVG has him whipped with the fiercest bitch face I’ve seen in a while.

Bill comes to the BBQ too, and upfront tells Sookie that Alcide’s not good enough for her. Which is a tad rude, he was standing their the whole time. Something about protecting Sookie blah blah a horde of Hep V infected vampires are heading to the BBQ. In a very walking dead like manner too.

It was weird how the had a 6 months later segment in the episode, that would’ve been a much better full episode than a half one. That’s the point of a finale, you want us to tune in afterwards. I’m just happy they didn’t introduce a new supernatural creature, because I would’ve punched someone if I saw a mermaid or unicorn. The season overall was just alright, I enjoyed it more than last seasons. It’s campy, it’s corny, and there is lots of nudity. I was annoyed how they took out Terry (a personal favorite) and added lackluster characters like Willa. Warlow could’ve been interested until he decided to make him and Sookies relationship a Lifetime movie special.

I’m not sure if I enjoyed the season, or just was happy it wasn’t as bad as the previous. I give this episode and season as a whole, a 2.5 out of 5.