Terminator: Genisys Review

Terminator-castHere it is. The quick and dirty for your face. Terminator, first name Ahhnold, second name is not even possible for me to remember without cutting and pasting and I’ll save myself the time, you know who he is. Left to right int he picture above we have Doctor Who, Chicago Code guy, Karl Drogo’s wife and Ahhnold. It also goes left to right in total screen time, and oddly enough, acting chops on this film. No offense to Matt Smith, he was in the movie for 10 seconds in an albeit very important yet unnecessarily cast role. It could have been an unnamed actor and the impact would have been identical.  Jai Courtney, aka the main reason why I didn’t like most of Die Hard 9000, is not pictured, because he’s a boob and bores me on screen with his muscles and dead face. Jason Clarke (Chicago Code guy) was John Conner, and one of the trailer’s spoiled the big plot twist that would have been amazing to not know ahead of time. I blame movie critics and fansites for demanding so much of the studio that they decided to make a terrible mistake in advertising by giving us the BIG REVEAL in a goddamn preview, not even the last preview, it was Trailer 2 of maybe 5? i think?

Amelia Clarke isn’t gritty enough for Sarah Conner, but I freaking love that girl. Literally. If she reads this I want her to know that. She’s an angel and needs to keep doing more stuff because I need to see her face more often. I also think her “au naturale” silhouette on a brick wall is hotter than most Cinemax shower scenes. That being said, her counterpart on GoT Lena Headey, 20 years ago. Angular features, gritty demeanor, resting b*tch-face. That’s how I would imagine even a young Sarah Conner, especially one that has apparently been raised by a cyborg and running for her life since she was 4 years old.

However great she is, she is still second fiddle to the man of the hour, Arnold Schwarzenegger (autocorrect ftw).

261gb9l.jpgWe got 3 different generations/iterations of the Schwartzenator. Young, middle age and Old Man Terminator. It was glorious. The throwbacks, the glances, the catch phrases, the mayhem. He was awesome. I saw it in 3D in theaters, and I’d recommend seeing it in theaters, unless you have a huge TV for a smashing summer hoot. You don’t need the 3D, you don’t need IMAX, you just need HD or wait for on-demand and use your big TV with the volume turned up.

That’s the review, here’s the trailer:

[su_youtube url=”https://youtu.be/Xer4VCa5-tg” width=”860″ height=”480″]


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